Weird, exhausting, over indulgent and good weekend!

Hope yours were, too.

One night with you,

is what I'm now praying for.

The things that we two could plan,

would make my dreams come true.

There's no love. No money. No thrill anymore.

I'm trying to figure everything out and stay happy. I don't know what else to do. I just had three avocado quesadillas. That helped nothing but my waist line.

I've been drinking way too much lately.

SO. I have a ghost not only in my house, but my room specifically.

We've saged the house, talked to it and told it to leave but it's still here and it's F'REALZ waking me up at night.

Does anyone else have any tips to ridding a house of ghosts? I'm pretty freaked out.

You don't know what love is, you just do as you're told.

I love that.

Things are okay. The house situation reached a head (ewww, is that the correct expression?) and is currently at a standstill. Well, the roommate with the boyfriend is moving out. My rent is going up  $275 which is a kick in the ass but I guess it's better than the alternative. I walked in on them having a heavy makeout sesh in the KITCHEN at 8PM last night so I won't be missing those. GODDAMN. I know they're playing house, but this is not their house so...

Work is still pretty stupid. I've been searching and searching but the job market is SHITE. I just want a decent paycheck, health insurance and a little respect. Is that unrealistic? Apparently.

My real friends (not the pod people I've been calling bffs) are finally around and alive so we've been hanging out non-stop. We got WASTED on a TUESDAY this week and it was amazing.

New England just suffered a major snowstorm. I have ONE windshield wiper currently on the passenger side so that has been AWESOME. What a stupid/vital problem to have.

I just made a new gym playlist and I can't wait to listen to it at the gym.

HAPPY OBAMA DAY!!!!

See ya never, G Dubs.

We listened to NPR pretty much all day at work today. I'm just excited to see this man in office. It's such a great day for America. Things have to get better. They just have to.

I find myself becoming more unlovable by each day.

I can't help but wonder if it's me or the company I keep.

Scratch that; it's the company that refuses to keep me.

I just watched an Elvis documentary and started to cry. God, I love that man.

So, Evelina, Josephine and I are bffs. We basically only hang out with each other.

I bought Josephine this reallllly beautiful frame for Christmas. The only problem is I'm having a hard time finding a photo of the two of us that is worthy of said frame. I recently gave her a great picture of the three of us for her birthday so I didn't want to do that again.

Is it lame to give her a picture of just Evelina and I? I feel like it's borderline narcissistic. Thoughts?

Man. I am so broke and disheartened by life right now that I ACTUALLY clicked on an egg donors banner because it said it paid upwards of 10 Gs. WTF. I'm losing my mind, of this I am sure.

But can you image? Essentially,  MY children would be running around in the world with no recollection of my life. I don't think sperm donors even consider this when they're cashing their $75 check for jacking off into a cup. What a weird world we live in.

Just something to think about.

Okay! I have to do some major girl talk right now. My friends (and roommates) are already bored with this story and if the roles were reversed, I would be too. I'm panicking!

So here's fair warning: this will involve much talk of a crush and severe analyzing of a few conversations between me and said crush. Don't read if you don't want to (but I'm hoping someone will and I'm hoping someone will help a sistah out!)

Today at work, I was waiting on a customer (a middle aged woman, maybe 50?) when she stopped mid question to say "Wow. You have beautiful eyes". At first, it creeped me out a little then it embarrassed me a lot THEN it made me kind of happy.

Usually, I get comments and compliments about my hair (on account of it's red and most people are so impressed that people like me exist) but usually it's "Where did you get your red hair?" Genetics. "Is that your natural hair color?" Obviously. "Does the carpet match the drapes?!" Fuck you. 

Some good things:

I started knitting again.

I blew an entire paycheck on nothing (It's super irresponsible but it felt so, so good).

I took my little sister to get her first tattoo.

Took a weekday off.

How's everyone in lj land?

As it turns out, I have very little friends left in Portland.

Srsly. Either, I've lost touch on purpose (or by accident!)  or they've moved away.

It's time to go too. It sucks that I live in a such a nice house now. I don't want to leave my house but I'm becoming so stagnant. Since we have a giant t.v. and tons of video games and dvds, I've been virtually (pun INTENDED) inactive. If it wasn't for running around the bakery for eight hours everyday, I'd probably lose all muscle mass and melt into the floor.

In the past few days I have:

Wished three friends bon voyage.

Ran into a bunch of people I didn't really want to see.

Bought a car !

Cleared out my bank account (Oh hi, I have THREE DOLLARS until Friday)

Slept in a bed I shouldn't have slept in.

Pissed off my roommate.

Helped a friend run away from home (She's 23).

Borrowed a car and didn't fill up the gas tank when I was done.

Told my mom "Sorry I've been such a douche".

Allowed someone to set up a blind date that only ended up being postponed.

Drank my weight in wine and beer.